Memories of Grandma

I don't know why, but I have struggled to get this post from inside of my head down onto paper.  I have started this post so many times only to end up stuck in my thoughts again.

My grandmother crossed over from this world into eternity two weeks ago.  Everyone knew she was sick, but no one really expected things to happen as quickly as they did. She went to heaven, of that I have no doubt, and for that I am grateful.

My grandmother was an interesting woman.  Growing up, I remember she had a sophistication that not many other people had.  She was the epitome of a proper southern woman.  She knew what she wanted and you had better either help her or get out of her way, because one way or the other she was going to get it.  She wasn't what I would consider pushy, but she had a strong determination. Granddaddy probably would have called it stubborn, but then again she would have said the same about him.

I remember spending a lot of time at my grandparents' house.  Simple things like coming over every Sunday afternoon to visit.  Sometimes those visits would be full of talking, but most times it was just being in the same room as each other.  Granddaddy would be checking his eyelids for holes while the rest of us watched Nascar racing on the television, not that we necessarily enjoyed racing but if you changed the channel it would wake granddad up.

I remember the meals.  We would get together at grandma's house for most every holiday, but especially Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve.  She loved Christmas Eve.  Gifts would be under the tree for everyone and you always had to go in order of youngest to oldest. No matter how much we protested, you did not deviate from that order.  Those nights were also filled with country ham biscuits, cheese balls with crackers, and grandma's punch.  I think it was the only occasion we used the punch bowl, but that was fine by grandma. 

This last Christmas Eve was the last time that I saw my grandmother alive.  Living in Tulsa makes it difficult to see everyone as frequently.  She was home, pretty much confined to a hospital bed at the time.  The bed was set up in the front room where we always gathered as a family to open gifts.  The room much too small for the number people, but we all managed to cram in anyway.  I remember watching her.  She looked great in her Christmas sweater, still just as proper as she always was.  But what I remember the most was the look on her face as everyone exchanged and opened gifts.  It was a look of contentment.  It was obvious she was taking everything in.  Every sight, every sound, every laugh and joke that was made.  I remember telling Glory after watching her for a while, this may very well be the last Christmas Eve where we are all together.  Sadly that turned out to be the case.

Of all the many memories that I have of my grandmother, one of the best ones is knowing that she loved me and was proud of me.  That wasn't something I ever had to wonder about with her.  She didn't keep it a secret from me or anyone else.  I certainly wasn't the only one she loved, but I was one of the ones she loved.

In life, leave no doubt.  Tell the ones you love how much you love them.  Show them every chance you get.

From Rainy Key West

In life you will have the opportunity to do many things, go many places and share a lot of experiences. I encourage you to look for the big opportunities as well as the ordinary opportunities and share them with the ones you love.  As they say, no one looks up from their deathbed wishing they had worked more, but untold millions wish they had more time to spend with their family.  As for me, I am headed to Kermit's Key Lime Shoppe for the best Key Lime pie on the planet with the love of my life, as soon as it stops raining that is!  

Adversity

Adversity.  It comes in all shapes and sizes.  Some big, some small.  Some mildly annoying and some life threatening. But if you are part of the human race here on planet Earth, at some point in time you will face adversity.

Psalms 34:19 says "Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the Lord delivers him out of them all." NKJV

There is this misnomer in the church that afflictions, or adversity, only come when either you are not a Christian or as Christian you must have done something wrong to get out from under God's protection. That's a great thought.  It makes it easy to justify in our minds why bad things happen to good people.  But it just isn't the case.

Psalms 34:19 very plainly states that many are the afflictions of the RIGHTEOUS.  That would be Christians.  It doesn't say that many are the afflictions of those righteous ones that got out of the will of God.  It doesn't say that many are the afflictions of those with deep dark unrepented sin in their life.  Nope it says many are the afflictions of the righteous.

But thank God that verse doesn't end there.  How depressing would it be if affliction was the end of the conversation.

"But the Lord delivers him out of them all."  Aren't you glad that's part of the verse.  I know I am.

I may face sickness from time to time, but the Lord delivers me out of them all.
I may face lack from time to time, but the Lord delivers me out of them all.
I may face weakness from time to time, but the Lord delivers me out of them all.
I may have people talking badly about me, but the Lord delivers me out of them all.
Things may not go the way I intended, but the Lord delivers me out of them all.

The next time you wonder "why, why is this happening to me?"  Remember, God never promised a life that was free from adversity.  He did however promise to deliver you out them all.

Let's Go Sailing

"Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm." 
—Publilius Syrus

I saw this post last Friday on my Facebook timeline.  I could definitely relate to how Mr. Publilius Syrus feels. This past week the sea wasn't so calm for a variety of reasons. Some of those reasons are in my control while others...not so much.

That's okay.  

As the old proverb says, "Smooth seas don't make skillful sailors."

I plan on being a skillful sailor this week.

Ahoy Mates!

Enjoy Today

Life... it happens to all of us.  Some days are easy and fun while some, not so much.

Matthew 5:45 (paraphrased) says that the sun rises on the evil and the good, and the rain falls on the just and unjust.

Bad things happen regardless of how good you are.

Good things happen regardless of how bad you are.

That's life ladies and gentlemen.

In Genesis 8:22 the Bible says, "While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease."

It's comforting to know that even though there will be night, the day always comes. Even though it may be cold, the sun will eventually come out and warm things up.

If today is a tough day for you, realize that tomorrow is coming and things will get better.

If today has been great for you, celebrate, but also beware that night falls soon.

I know as you read this post you probably think, whoa, he must be having a rough day.  I would tell you that it's not been my best day, but not my worst day either.  What it is, is a normal day.

My encouragement for you today is to see the day for what it is.  You can't undo what's been done, but you can look forward to what's ahead.

Right Things

You can't please everyone all of the time.  Such a simple statement, that is either liberating when you think about it or it causes you a deep sense of frustration within.

I read a blog post earlier this week that touched on the topic.  We work hard to please our family.  We work hard to please our boss.  Don't forget about your friends,  the church, the volunteer position that you are donating your time to.  It seems everyone wants more and more.  But at the end of the day if you aren't going to be able to please everyone then who should you be putting your focus on?

That is a question that many people offer advice about, and even more people are searching for an answer that resonates with them.  In my opinion, that is simply the wrong question, or at the very least a wrong perspective.

I believe that if you are doing the right things for the right reasons,  pleasing people becomes less of your focus.  But therein lies the irony, when you are doing the right things for the right reasons, people will generally be pleased.

  

Successful People Read

Reading is something that had you asked me ten years ago, I would have told you that "I'm done with school so why would I want to go and do something like that."  I am pretty sure that I am not alone in that sentiment.  You don't have to listen to very many conversations before you realize that most people put more importance on the latest and greatest television drama than on some old book.

The truth is that very few shows on television will go very far in improving your life from where you are right this moment.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy watching tv just like everyone else.  Sometimes just flipping your mind on auto-pilot and being entertained can do you some good.

Reading though, does so many wonderful things for you.  It can open new worlds to you.  It can bring new ideas to light or remind of us things once known but too quickly neglected or forgotten.  It can help a leader keep their edge.  It can help the professional continue to grow and improve.  Reading can provide the inspiration to strive to be a better person in all areas of life.

I have developed a love for reading.  That development process started several years ago when my boss recommended that not only I, but everyone in my company, should read a particular book.  Having worked for my present company for almost 12 years now,  I have heard my boss talk about the books he has read on many occasions.  I have seen his bookcase at work that is overflowing with business books.  I have sat through meetings where he did his best to convey the message of whatever book he was currently reading or had just finished.  

It took me a while to correlate his success as a business owner and a leader to those books he read and so passionately talked about.  It took me equally as long to correlate my lack of success to the simple fact that I wasn't reading.  Once my lightning quick mind made that connection between being successful and reading, I have done my best to grow my library. 

I really don't even recall at this point what book my boss even recommended for us all to read.  I can tell you this though.  It started a journey that I don't see ending anytime soon.

Sin is Sin

You know, there has been a lot of debate socially this week about same sex marriage. The Supreme Court has two cases before them addressing the issue. This has caused a firestorm on Facebook and other sites. People are being attacked for their views regardless of which side of the issue they fall on.

That got me to thinking. Thinking is something I love to do anyway. But specifically it made me stop and think about my own views on the subject and why I feel the way do about it. I believe that you should have an opinion on pretty much about anything. I don't believe in your right to just force your opinion on someone else. But as much as I believe you should have an opinion, you should be able to support your opinion if asked. So here goes...

I personally am against same sex marriage. My view is based on my understanding of the Bible and what it teaches. The Bible calls homosexuality a sin. For me, that is enough. I really don't have to dig any deeper than that.

But there is more to it than that, and stick with me here.

Sin is sin. Lying, cheating, stealing, murder, gluttony, and adultery are also sins right along with homosexuality. We as Christians tend to want to beat people over the head with the Bible that we tote under our arms. We point an accusatory finger in the face of those that we feel are sinning, but fail to take the personal responsibility for the areas in our lives that are sin. What we fail to realize, despite what our finite human reasoning tells us, is that one sin is not worse than another. Lying is equally as damaging as pornography. Jealously coveting your neighbor's stuff is just as much sin as murdering someone. We put different levels and labels on our sins to justify in our minds that our behavior is okay, but your behavior is wrong.

So what's so wrong with sin anyway, other than the Bible instructing us not to sin?

Sin separates us from God. That's it.

God has created us to have a relationship with Him. Sin separates us from that relationship. Sin causes condemnation. Condemnation creates inner turmoil that pushes us farther away from that relationship with God. Adam found that out first hand in the Garden of Eden when he first sinned. Ever since then God has been working to restore that close relationship with each of us. The good news is that before the foundations of the world, Jesus was made a sacrifice for us. He took my sin and your sin, along with every sickness and disease to the cross. He paid the price, died, and rose again to restore our relationship with God.

My encouragement to you today is, don't beat people up for their sins. You have enough to do just managing yourself. Walk in Love today and allow the Holy Spirit to do His job. The Holy Spirit knows how to convict without condemning. Your job is to pray for those around you and walk in love towards everyone.

I leave you today with I Corinthians 13:4-8 (Amplified Translation)

Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes not account of the evil don to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]. It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ready to believe the best of every person, it hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].

It's Been A While...

So, I started this blog almost a year ago.  Nine months ago to be exact.  I had fabulous expectations of creating meaningful posts several times a week that would be read by a few and spread by those few to the masses.  After two posts and a few drafts the desire was still there but the follow through got up and went.

That seems to be the way life is, filled with good intentions but lacking on follow through.  We enjoy the idea process and thinking about what life would be like if we got up and did something new.  But when it comes time to for the doing we tend to make excuses.

I don't know about you, but I am good at excuses.

I would work out more if I wasn't so tired.  I could go for a run, but it's just too cold and if it isn't too cold, then it will probably be too hot.  Not to mention that I have the wrong type of shoes, and don't have matching work out clothes.  And have you seen me run, it's not exactly graceful.  What if I enjoy running and start to lose too much weight, what then?  I will have to go buy new clothes and I hate shopping for clothes.  So it's probably best if I just kick back in the recliner, finish my Coke and polish off the rest of the Doritos!

Part of the problem for me is that my natural slant in life is to see all the obstacles in the way of achieving success.  Seeing obstacles can be a gift or a detriment depending on how it is used.  I have been (and will likely be again) guilty of living on the detrimental side and using obstacles as reasons to not even try.  I'm even guilty of not just squashing my own dreams, but the dreams of those around me as well.  The image of my wife using her hands as pretend guns shooting ideas down as she shares with me comes to mind.  Sorry Babe.

The reality is that in many cases I am capable of seeing things that others miss.  And while I could use those things to deter others (or myself), I should take it as a gift to see what lies ahead so that a plan can be put in place to deal with these obstacles before they ever become an issue.  Sort of like viewing obstacles as opportunities.  That's what successful people do.  They don't look at life and see challenges, they see opportunities.  There is usually work involved in those opportunities, but that's another blog altogether.

Bottom line is this, if there is something that you feel like you should be doing, do it. Don't get caught up in the obstacles or the excuses.  Go for it, and once you do, stick with it.  You never know where you'll end up.